Thursday, March 21, 2019

Excerpt from Southernpunk - The Critters and Varmints Reader

The old man sat whittling on a rough piece of wood. "What parts you hail from, Boy?" he asked kindly. "I am from the northern territory - A big bustling city that you probably wouldn't have ever heard of, Sir" smiling, I replied.

"That may not be such a great thing" he said "Y'all don't have all this lovely nature around y'uns".

"It can be distracting, The city" I said, and took a seat by him.

"That's fine though" as he patted my shoulder "At least you're here now, son" he said. I felt a warm glow rush over me, like when my father would hug me after a hard day of work. It felt wonderful. Almost nostalgic in a way.

"Hopefully you can sit a spell" He said. "While I just jawbone on and on for a bit". He then took a bite out of what looked to be some sort of sweet smelling jerked meat "Care for a taste, m'boy?" He asked. Genially I refused, as I glanced casually at my shoulder.

It had been torn, and had a hunk missing from it - I could see straight to the bone! He kept on chewing. It was from me, I quickly deduced. But that was fine though. Just as long as he kept on talking.

- John Smythe,
Missing traveling peddler upon encountering the infamous Wiliker of Wolverton Holler

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